


In Memory Of

by lachoy



Series: Inked [4]
Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Gen, neku's dead best friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-14
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-26 07:37:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4995919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lachoy/pseuds/lachoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neku's first tattoo is something infinitely personal and not something ready to be shared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Memory Of

His first tattoo is of his dead friend's name. It's been years since his death and Neku is still amazed it affects him every day. Neku never tells anybody about him, never says how that had been his first friend and the first person Neku had ever actually gotten close to. How everybody had loved him and how, for some crazy reason, he'd decided grumpy Neku was his best friend. How his smile had made everything better and Neku hadn't known how to smile without it (so he'd stopped smiling obviously). How having that one friend had meant all the difference.

And Neku would never tell anybody how sometimes he still felt like it was all his fault for the world losing such a bright person. If he hadn't been so pushy for them to hang out that day, if he had just suggested the next day then maybe--

Neku is eighteen now and he knows not to go down this train of thought. It's destructive and it wasn't his fault. It wasn't anybody's. Things just happened and Neku had only been a young boy and he had no power over what fate had in store.

But he still misses him, even if he has new friends, and he doesn't think he will ever stop missing him. The tattoo is just a physical reminder of that. He gets it on his inner wrist because over his heart is too cheesy and anywhere else doesn't seem good enough. It's subtle and while Neku's adamant about his career choice, he isn't quite ready to be judged so harshly by complete strangers simply for some ink on his body. One day, but not at the moment. But most definitely not for something so infinitely important to him.

After Neku gets it done, he has dinner with Shiki and Beat. He considers showing it to them, not wanting to explain, but then again—he knows so many deeply personal details about them and maybe it's really time he shares this because they have a right to know. Open up, right? It's probably therapeutic and good for the soul. Mr. H approved or something.

Still showing his tattoo seems...it's too much too soon. Neku would like to think he's grown a lot and maybe this is a step back, but sometimes you need to go at your own pace. Showing the tattoo, showing how affected he was to this day—the tattoo was only for himself at the moment. But he could still try to expand his world, just a little.

So he tells them. Tells them about his best friend (because he definitely still considers him that, even if he's dead because it just feels like that title is his and nobody else's)and he feels like he doesn't breathe the entire time. It's kind of a lot to randomly drop on people and Neku thinks it may have been awkwardly done, but it feels good to talk about him. He never had before. Not even when his mother had begged for him to just let it out (and Neku had slammed his door and turned his music up so loud they got complaints).

Shiki's mouth has been open the entire time and she closes it finally to speak. “Neku, I--” She gives up almost immediately and seems to be thinking about what to say. As if what she chooses won't ever be enough.

“Dude, yo...” Beat doesn't seem to know what to say either.

Neku shrugs. He feels almost too open, but it's fine. It's just the first time he had to say this out loud and it was so long ago. But sometimes you have to leave yourself vulnerable and this is important to do. Important for them and also important for himself.

There's understanding behind Shiki's glasses, like she finally understands how everything fits. Had he still been a mystery to her? Had some things about him still not made sense? “I'm really sorry,” she settles on. Simple, but her voice shows how much she means it. Neku doesn't need poetry in place of genuine emotion.

“Yeah, that blows. I mean, more than blows. It's...aw hell, Phones. Y'know I'm not good wit' words and crap.” 

Neku gives him a smile. He definitely won't be getting poetry from Beat anyway. “It's cool. I get it. I mean, it did happen a while ago and yeah.” He brings his wrist closer to him, almost afraid of it showing now and continues. “Sorry for not telling you guys sooner.”

“Hey, it ain't like you got to tell us everything, you know? Your business is your business.”

“Beat's right, Neku. If you didn't feel comfortable telling us then it's okay. I'm glad you told us now, though. It's just nice to know about your friends.” Shiki gives that small smile that always makes Neku thank whatever force made Shiki never give up on him. The him back then had not deserved her one bit and whenever he tells her that, she usually flusters and brushes him off, tells him he's wrong and he doesn't think he's wrong. Not at all. But he'll keep her friendship for as long as possible.

Neku talks about his friend then. How outgoing he'd been and how he'd always tried to make Neku more like him in that way. It had never worked, but they'd still been best friends. How they had gushed about art, liked the same music, and did all kinds of things best friends did. It hurts and Neku knows that's to be expected. But it feels right to do this, kind of like he was introducing him to his new friends. Neku doesn't talk about how he died because that's still something that's too raw. Maybe he'll get there one day, but that day isn't today.

By the time he gets home, he's emotionally drained and when he flops on his bed he could easily nap for the whole night. 

“And so your path to delinquency begins.”

Neku bolts up from the bed, breathing heavy when he sees Joshua sitting on his desk with an amused smile. “Should I have knocked?”

“Piss off, jerk.” Neku gives him a glare and flops face down into his pillow. There's a weight on his bed soon after that Neku knows belongs it to Joshua. “I'm really going to need to invest in some omamori.”

“Those wouldn't even work with me. After all, I'm not a spirit. Not all dead beings are spirits. You should broaden your mind there, dear. You're becoming a little bigoted.”

Neku has a rebuttal for that, but then Joshua's original comment comes to him. “Wait.” He sits up and gives a suspicious look. “What do you mean by 'my path to delinquency'?”

“Why, your tattoo, of course. What else would I mean? Try to keep up. I don't have all night to explain obvious answers to you. Some of us do have better things we can be doing.”

Ignoring the insult to his intelligence, Neku struggles to say something. “That's--” A secret, a private thing, not something-- “I didn't want anybody to know about it.” And he really isn't happy that Joshua knows, definitely a little irritated. Whether or not it's Joshua's fault for knowing, since he's always disrespectful of privacy and space, Joshua just shouldn't know. Especially if Neku couldn't even tell his closest friends about the tattoo. What gave Joshua the right to know about anything if they didn't?

Not that Joshua would understand because since when does he try to be decent? “How silly. You let it be known you want to be a tattooist, but somehow, ink on your skin is the thing you want to keep hidden. I truly don't understand you. It isn't even that tasteless.”

There's the question of how the hell did Joshua know, but Neku's learned that Joshua's Composer powers work in weird and mysterious ways. Whenever Joshua can do something that Neku didn't expect, he often just sums it up to Composer magic. As bullshit and unfair as it is because Joshua has such an advantage over him most of the time and it's like Joshua rubs it in his face.

Though after his discussion with Shiki and Beat about his best friend, Neku has to wonder...

“Did you know about--?”

“Your best friend? Of course.” At Neku's surprised face, he sighs, brushing a bit of his fringe back. “Do you truly think I did no research on you before I chose you as my proxy? That I really just chose some random teen? Please, I'm much more strategic than that. I'm insulted you wouldn't think I'm better than that.”

There's the age old argument of the fact that if anybody should be insulted it should be Neku because he was shot twice, you asshole-- but Neku doesn't have it in him to argue that point tonight. And as much as it angered Neku to agree, Joshua was right. He should have expected Joshua to know. Not that he should be happy and okay with it, because he still doesn't like that Joshua treated him like some test subject almost, but...his emotional state is too taxed at the moment. Being mad takes effort and Neku would rather just sleep.

But there's a question nagging him now and who better to ask than the Composer?

“Josh?”

“Yes?”

Neku turns back over and looks at Joshua. This is going to be a mistake, but he always makes stupid choices anyway. He's young, right? He's supposed to be doing dumb things. Live and learn.

“What did happen to him?”

“To who?”

“Don't play dumb. You know who I'm talking about and you know exactly what I want to know.”

Joshua is silent for a moment and Neku wonders the reason why. Is it because he's trying to craft an answer that is sympathetic or is he trying to come up with something that will piss him off?

“I don't think you do want to know this.”

“Don't bullshit me.”

“Neku--”

“What happened?” Neku sits up now, face mad and Joshua just frowns.

“Neku, whatever happened won't make you happy. If he was in the Game, then he clearly didn't win. And if he had been in the Game and had won, then he clearly did not choose to return. There's some things better left unknown.”

“So maybe he wasn't in the Game?”

“Possible. Not all people who die enter the Game. Some people's Souls are not yet qualified--”

“Qualified?” Neku practically yells those words out and Joshua doesn't flinch. “Do you have any idea what you're talking about? Are you saying he was some useless person without any kind of potential? You didn't even know him!”

Joshua's face is stern and his voice doesn't waver. Right now he doesn't look like the same person who could watch stupid kids' shows. “That isn't what I'm saying. Not all Souls are ready for the Game. Even a great artist can need a more highly refined Soul before they're ready to--”

Neku doesn't let him finish. He's heard enough and he turns back over. “Can you just leave?”

“Really? You ask me a question which I told you that you didn't want to know and now that I begin to answer it--”

“Go. Away.”

Neku doesn't hear anything and he looks to where Joshua had been to find nothing there now. At least Joshua respects one of his wishes. Or maybe he hadn't been in the mood to handle Neku's emotions. He might owe Joshua an apology. Maybe. He had unfairly lashed out at him and maybe Joshua hadn't realized Neku wasn't in the mood? Or maybe he had. Who knew the full extent of crazy amazing Composer bullshit?

Sighing, Neku rolls onto his side to reach for a drawer for a picture he hadn't looked at in a few years now. They were long due for a chat.

“So hey, I haven't really talked to you in a while.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Friendly reminder that Neku's biggest pet peeve about people who get tattoos is people who have names put on them...:')


End file.
